In a recent blogpost from Marriage Today, Jimmy Evans writes;
"Her next need is for soft, nonsexual affection. I once counseled a couple where the woman said, “Outside the bedroom, he’s never touched me. Never held my hand or put his arm around me.” She was frustrated and angry about it.
Early in our marriage, I was like that husband. I just didn’t know how to be affectionate with Karen. I was rough. God had to teach me how important it was for me to hold her, to be gentle and show affection without expecting it to lead somewhere. When I changed, it changed our marriage.
Some men may say, “That’s just not the way I am.” I tell them it doesn’t matter. You need to change and meet your wife’s needs.
I do agree with Jimmy Evans, that husbands need to change to meet our wives needs for nonsexual touch. The cool thing is that the power to change is Christ in us, the God of Love who dwells in each of His kids. Those of us, me included, who didn't come from families who displayed much affection, can depend on Jesus, who is the embodiment of love and compels us to show the many facets of love to our spouse. We can also move in humility, receive the love that comes by way of hugs, hand holding, gentle touches, and learn from our spouses. Appropriate physical touch is so important in affirmation, development and growth for children and adults. If you don't believe me, Google it; the research is there.
Vic and Monique
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