Windows and Mirrors
Have you ever looked into and window and seen yourself? You were intending to look out to the vista the window presented to you and yet, someone had something else in mind. This has certainly happened to me. One of the tools Monique and I use in our marriage and family work is something called The Flag Page, which is a really a window and a mirror combined, a look into what your passions are for living this life God has given you and a window for your spouse to better understand and value you.
Here is my Flag Page, a window and a mirror into who I am, what my passions are for life. The beauty of this tool is that it is a mirror for me and a window for my wife Monique. I get to see myself, what "floats my boat" so to speak and Monique gets an opportunity to see into my heart and understand me, why I act the way I act, react the way I react, in relation to her and others.
This tool, developed by our friend Larry Bilotta, is presented as part of the Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Conference. Monique and I are also introducing couples to it in Marriage Mosaic, as it has helped us tremendously in our marriage.
Back to my Flag...without going into too much detail here, I'm a highly relational guy. My top 5 traits are; Good Listener, Loves People, Thoughtful, Inspirational and Sincere at Heart. The relational countries I live in primarily are Peace and Fun. I don't like conflict and would rather avoid it. There is so much more that the Flag reveals, but with this glimpse, I encourage you to do your Flag Page. It just may be one of the greatest gifts you can give your marriage. Also, check out our upcoming Marriage Mosaic conference; the Flag Page is part of the deal in registering for the conference. Register today!
Mirrors, how challenged are you by the thought your spouse, or someone else could be a mirror for your life? I know that when I hear messages from my mirror, Monique, I can respond and react with defensiveness. This doesn't happen all the time, but occasionally and especially when I have ignored something that needed to be addressed or dealt with in our home.
The shame in me gets triggered and I must acknowledge it and choose to live out of what is true about me in Christ. I am not who I once was, trusting His love for me and my new changed heart gives me the courage to face my mirror and receive her love. You see my mirror, Monique, just wants to love me. I now see her reflections as loving. This is a relationship game changer.
Being in relationship with a loving God, who puts people in my life to meet my needs and offer me their protective love is the greatest gift. It is a gift of freedom that gives me permission to be who He created me to be. The beauty of this is that this gift leads me into my destiny, which involves others who will receive the gift from me one day.
So...mirrors... a gift from God, but first you must receive His love and then you will experience the mirrors He has put in place for your maturity. You can learn more about this in the book, The Cure.
Vic and Monique
We are all about helping your marriage thrive.