Importance of "play" in marriage

Dr. Steve Call, author of Reconnect; insights and tools for cultivation meaningful connection in your marriage, says this regarding play...

​"Play is an essential ingredient of intimacy. Intimacy comes from the Latin word, intimare, which means to make familiar. The famous philosopher Plato is credited with this thought about play: 'You can discover more about one person in one hour of play than in a year of conversation. ' Playing together cultivates understanding, safety and trust."

Play is a way to cultivate our friendship with one another, and according to John Gottman, (www.gottman.com), marriages that are built upon friendship bring increased contentment to both partners. 

What is play? Play is any activity or experience that brings us pleasure and enjoyment, and it looks different for each couple. Dr. Call says; "Play soothes and provides reassurance because it says to our spouse, I want to be with you. You matter to me. I choose you."

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Monique and I are on recent getaway were reflecting on the ways we have incorporated "play" in our almost 27 years of marriage. There have a wide variety of activities we shared together, including: playing card games, backgammon, ladder golf, corn hole, shooting baskets, bicycle riding, mountain biking, morning coffee times, walks around the neighborhood, sight-seeing drives and more recently hiking. 



​Here we are hiking in the Grand Canyon, AZ, enjoying God's creative artistry in living color. 

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We have to agree with Dr. Steve Call from our experience in almost 27 years of marriage; "play" has been significant in creating a deeper friendship and intimacy in our relationship. We find that in "play" we decompress and are just able to be ourselves; step away from the entrapment of busyness that wants to separate us. 

How are you cultivating "play" in your marriage? We would love to hear from you. We would love to incorporate your stories of "play", that they might encourage others. Each of our marriages are unique to us, thus sharing is so helpful to all. 

We encourage you to consider Dr. Steve Call's book; Reconnect, a fantastic resource for your marriage. Go here to get your copy today. 

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