The need for significance is a big deal in marriage and for us as living breathing human beings. It is one of our basic core needs, and when we don't feel valued or have a sense that we matter, we usually live out of our shame.
Tim Kimmel, in the book Grace-filled Marriage says this; "If we made it our aim to use our words and actions to help our spouse add another layer to their inner sense of significance, we'd be doing more than smiling, we'd be doing the happy dance most of the time."
Kimmel defines significance; "a healthy view of who you are and what you have to offer as a person created by God and paid for by His son on the cross." David says in Psalm 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." This reality and the fact that we are created in the image of God, should give each and every one of us a tremendous sense of value.
The call to us in marriage is to build one another up, reinforce the significance our God has already given us and offers us daily. (1 Thess. 5:11) I love this from Tim Kimmel;
"Part of your love story is how you come alongside your spouse to help them find their sweet spot. When you view your spouse through the lens of God's grace, you help them hit their highest stride when it comes to their interests, passions, calling, and profession. Often their sweet spot is hidden or has been lying dormant. When you make it a priority to encourage your mate to their highest and best level of contribution, God smiles."
What are the practical steps towards building one another up in significance? We must begin by being aware of our old unhealthy ways of relating to each other. We must put off;
We must put on affirmation; using words of affirmation, approval and appreciation. We teach relational skills in our workshops to help you build significance into your relationship. Email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org, if you are interested in a workshop and receive encouragement.
Vic and Monique
We are all about helping your marriage thrive.