We continue, in this post, to chat about a husband's needs and expectations of his wife in marriage. Dave Willis, in his blogpost, addresses specifically what a husband needs, wants and expects from their wives. (in no particular order). He suggests there are 5 key needs, wants or expectations husbands have for their wives. Here they are:
4) Domestic support
I first came across this need for respect through the teaching on marriage from Dr. Emerson Eggerich, Love and Respect. His discovery was rooted in this passage in Ephesians...
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:31-33
Research has found most men would rather feel respected by their wives than feel loved. Dr. Eggerich in essence says that the language of respect in marriage, for most men, is life giving. Basically, when you affirm your husband and believe in him, he’ll feel like he can take on the world. Thus the opposite is also true; when you nag him or constantly correct him or insult him, it will crush his soul.
I have found that respect is found in affirmation, and this is a need for husbands and wives.
Our friends at Trueface say this regarding affirmation; "Affirmation is one of the most important gifts that we can give. Affirmation meets a God-given need; without which I cannot fully know who God has made me." I think respect is packaged in affirmation and it speaks to our hearts because we are all created in the image of God, which roots all humanity in incredible dignity.
When a husband doesn't feel respected, a common reaction to disrespect is withdrawal. Dr. Eggerich does a beautiful job explaining this here in this post and in the brief video...go here.
Have you experienced withdrawal in your marriage? What ways do you show respect to your husband? How often do you affirm one another in your marriage? More next time...
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Vic and Monique
We are all about helping your marriage thrive.