Relational Resolutions

Coming to the end of 2012, the barrage of New Year resolution ideas are flowing into our news sites and inboxes. All of these ideas are well intentioned I suppose, but the motivation behind many are in marketing something that will help you finally succeed in carrying out your resolution. 


Unfortunately, these gimmicks, gadgets or products never produce the change in our lives that is desired. They jump start us, but the staying power is not in the gimmick. It is in us. 


I'm looking forward for change that has staying power...something sticky. How about you? I think the stickiness of change is found with an interior look, in knowing and loving myself. How does that sound to you; boring?, scary?, a waste of time? 


What if I told you that taking an interior look may be the first step in loving well; making a relational resolution that will not only guide you in loving yourself, but will leading you into loving others. 

This theme of loving yourself and searching your heart is one that appears time and time again in the Scriptures. 

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:8-10 

We find this teaching in Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 22:36-40, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:25-37 and 1 John 4:16. You can't miss it as you read the words of Jesus and his followers. So how about some relational resolutions this year that will affect your relationship with God, your love of yourself and your love for others...sound good and doable? Here are some truths with stickiness:

1. See yourself as uniquely created in the image of God. Genesis 1:26-27

2. Trusting in Christ...see yourself as a chlid of God, as God sees you. John 1:12

3. Trust in the truth that you have been made new. You are not who you once were. 2 Cor. 5:17

4. Knowing and trusting these truths, take an interior look and ask this question; What area of my life is most in need of change so that I can grow in loving well? These might include loving God, loving myself, loving my wife and children, loving others. 


Be specific in naming these areas and take action steps in loving well. For help with this journey I recommend; Emotionally Health Spirituality.


5. In the context of piecing together your Marriage Mosaic, one of the areas I think we can all grow in is listening. Intentionally seek to be a better listener in 2013. This is one of my goals. 


“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” 
― Ralph G. Nichols

“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. (attr to J. Isham)” 
― Sura Hart, Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation

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