Learning to dance...
In the YouTube clip above you see a beginning dancer trying to learn the basic steps in West Coast Swing. It is called the "Sugar Push", at least that is one name for it. Take it from Monique and I, it looks very easy, but it takes practice. We are just now, after our third lesson, feeling like we are getting the hang of it.
The same is true in learning how to love well, communicate in loving ways with our spouses, family and friends. We inherit unhealthy patterns of relating from the family enviornment during our developmental years of life and those ways of responding and reacting stay with us for life, unless we learn new ways and we embrace the new. When you step into following Christ and put your faith in Him, you are birthed into a new family, the family of God.
As we mentioned in the previous blogpost, the way of living and relating in this new family should display the amazing love of God and His grace. I wish this would naturally flow from us, but it doesn't. We must take the first steps to learn a new way. One of the first steps involves exploring the "iceberg" that represents me. To do this we need to ask ourselves four questions and allow God to walk with us in this exploration. The questions are quite simple really and will tap into your interior world. 1) What am I sad about? 2) What am I mad about? 3) What am I glad about? What am I worried about?
If we can discover what is going on inside us, we can discover the unresolved issues that are causing the feelings which may be producing the unhealthy patterns of relatiing. This is the first step...so take the risk, step into this hard work and practice. You will find yourself come to life as you give yourself permission to feel.
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Vic and Monique
We are all about helping your marriage thrive.