These two stanzas from the poem in the previous blog post really captured my attention. Here they are again:
Corona is exposing me.
My mindless numbing
My endless scrolling
My careless words
My fragile nerves.
We’ve all been exposed.
Our junk laid bare.
Our fears made known.
The band-aid torn. Photo by Florian Glawogger on Unsplash The masquerade done.
I've been undone by the coronavirus, specifically, the "stay at home" order in Washington State. You see, I am realizing that my daily routines have made it possible for me to "mask" attitudes and behaviors that are rooted in selfishness (unresolved sin). Ugh! Ugh translates into ugliness that comes out now as the routines have been blown up by the order to STAY AT HOME!
In staying at home, we are rubbing shoulders with one another constantly throughout the day. This is hugely different from our previous routine. I'm sure we are not alone in this experience. In fact, Erin O'Conner writes about this in her great article titled; "A forced slow down has been a welcomed side effect of staying in place." She writes...
"One month ago, a typical weekend would include basketball games, multiple flag football matches, and a gymnastics meet. When Sunday nights arrived, we were finishing school projects on a deadline, making the week’s schedule, and preparing meals for the coming days. The coronavirus pandemic has brought that frantic pace to a screeching halt."
Yes, that is it, the "screeching halt" is laying my "junk to bare". The "junk" is my perception that projects to be done around the house, brought up by my wife and daughter, create a list in my head. The list represents something that I can never quite get a grip on, accomplish or complete. This is never the intention of her heart, but my head and flesh take it to a different, dark place.
The "screeching halt" has brought some things into the light; "my fears are made known, the band-aid torn, the masquerade is done". This is the life-giving message we heard him share and it’s still ringing in our ears. We now repeat his words to you: God is pure light. You will never find even a trace of darkness in him.
1 John 1:5 TPT
I am realizing that God is bringing this into the light for my healing and wholeness in Him. Reality check, I don't like it. He can't help but reveal it to me because this is what His love does in us. I am stepping into vulnerability knowing that I am enough because Jesus' love and grace for me are more than enough. Author, speaker, shame researcher Brene Brown says this about vulnerability..."
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
More from a walk in the Light and into vulnerability next time.
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure.
Vic and Monique
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