Acceptance is another basic need we wake up to every day. Our gracious loving God will meet this need every moment of every day if we trust in His love for us. His love for us is unearned.
We can't do anything to earn God's love. This truth is spelled out in many New Testament passages.
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die -- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:7-8 ESV
We, though, are going to love--love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.
1 John 4:19 The Message
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved-- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2: 1-7 ESV
We were created by the God of love, to be loved. We experience love when our need for acceptance is met. It has been met by God. With God, our acceptance is not based on our performance. His love for us is unconditional. In our marriages, if we love one another based on performance, we find ourselves keeping lists and unconsciously creating a conditional love that kills relationship and intimacy.
If we operate, in marriage, in a performance based relationship, we will experience rejection and at the root of all rebellion is rejection. (Bill Thrall - Trueface.org) We will comply, and try, and try, and try, because we so want to be accepted, but eventually we will lose hope. We realize we can never be enough.
This is a sad scenario that is being played out in many many marriages, Christian or not. The antidote is trusting that we are accepted and loved by the God of this universe and that He has given us everything (Jesus) we need to accept others and love others well. Will you take a step and trust in His unconditional love and acceptance today, for the sake of your marriage.
Vic and Monique
We are all about helping your marriage thrive.