Acclimatizing to living life in the Room of Grace, as we mentioned in the previous post, takes time and I believe it begins with embracing forgiveness. Look with me at these realities of God's forgiveness as described in the Old and New Testaments. In Isaiah 43:25 our God says; "I--yes, I alone--will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again. In Psalm 103:12, the Psalmist says: "He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." 1 Peter 3:18, the apostle Peter affirms these truths from the Old Testament..."For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, Romans 6:10 - "The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God." Hebrews 7:27 - "Unlike those other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once for all when he offered himself as the sacrifice for the people's sins." A great visual of the eternal expanse of God's forgiveness was given to us by pastor Rusty Kennedy on our 25th anniversary cruise. (see ocean photos) Rusty encouraged all of us to look out from the deck to gaze upon the never-ending ocean seascape. He then boldly proclaimed from the Scriptures above (others too) that we all swim in the Father's ocean of forgiveness, forgiveness for sins committed in the past, present and future. Christ died one time for the forgiveness of sin. It is finished! What if we lived day to day with our spouses and others, swimming in the Father's ocean of forgiveness? What if we experienced the complete forgiveness Christ died for on a minute by minute basis and offered it to one another? Radical love? Radical grace? Do we really get forgiveness? I think forgiveness sets us on a course to experience God's grace. Ephesians 2:8-9 says; "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God," Forgiveness is a gift! We can give it away as it has freely been given us, by faith. Watch yourself begin to acclimatize by His grace when you live in the never-ending ocean of forgiveness in your marriage.
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I have noticed over the years that it takes some time, usually a week or two, to acclimatize when returning from a mission trip or vacation. I looked up the word, acclimatize, and found this definition; to adapt or become accustomed to a new climate or environment.
Monique and I have recently returned from our 25th anniversary celebration in the Caribbean. We went on our first cruise together with Mercy Me at Sea, a cruise organized by Inspiration Cruises. The program included concerts by the band, worship and incredible teaching in the truths of God's love and grace by Rusty Kennedy and our friends at Trueface. The cruise and inspirational times soaking in the truths of God's grace were incredibly stress free, relaxing and refreshing for our souls and our marriage. Needless to say, we are now acclimatizing from 80 degree weather to 40 degree weather in the northwest. ,However, that is not the acclimatizing that I want to talk about in the next couple of blogposts. The definition of the word acclimatize includes adapting to a new environment. I want to talk about a new environment to live relationally in with others that will rock your world and revolutionize your marriage. It is the environment of grace. Quite simply, an environment of grace is a relational space where the worst about you can be known and you would be loved, and loved all the more in the telling of it. Sound supernatural? It is and it is real. Most often when I share with with someone I hear something like; "I've never experienced anything like that with people. Where do you find such a place?" When I introduce people to the Room of Grace, many times it seems to good to be true. Questions, doubts, disbelief seem to be part of the acclimatizing to this new room. This acclimatizing process is okay, our God is patient with us. He so loves us and desires us to experience His radical unconditional life altering love, that He waits patiently for us to acclimatize. Finding and living in the Room of Grace starts with me, Christ in Me. Monique and I were blessed to meet Tim Timmons on our cruise. He led us in worship many mornings with story and song. Tim song, Christ in Me is a jumping off point for this series of blog posts. Click here to meet Tim and listen to his song, stirred from something his little daughter shared with him. Appreciation....a word I couldn't get out of my mind this past Saturday. While relaxing with Vic, spending time with our nephew Eric and his delightful wife Daniella in Miami, my heart was flush with gratitude. Eric and Daniella invited us into their lives to do pre-marriage counseling a couple years ago...the perks of technology with Skype/Facetime, making it possible to connect Burlington, Wa to Miami, Florida on Sunday evenings! We have enjoyed spending time with them, in person, this past weekend, watching how they appreciate one another. It has been encouraging to hear them express affirmations, listen and even navigate through a difficult conversation. Demonstrating genuine appreciation for one another in marriage in simple, consistent measures....small or large, breathes life into a relationship. As we approach 25 years of married life, I reflect on seasons I have done this well, and others I've failed miserably, focusing more on self. This train of thought takes me back to one of my favorite words...intentional. By appreciating (a verb), our spouses intently, we have significant opportunity to love well, influence, heal and build trust with the most important relationship on earth. Mutual appreciation can lead to deeper friendship and intimacy. What a gift it is to give and receive this act of kindness in marriage. Heading into 2017, one of my goals is to shower words of admiration, respect and love towards Vic...even on our worst days. If you reading this and feel you have fallen short...you are not alone, likely most of us have. Ask forgiveness and in His grace run forward! I'm reminded by scripture and a recent post from a friend, " God's mercy is fresh and new every single morning. May it be a day of wonder, joy, contentment and grace." Start anew! Monique As we begin a new year, many people are heading to health clubs to begin the hard work of reshaping their bodies in hopes of shedding holiday pounds. Our marriage relationships also need ongoing reshaping to remain healthy. It is easy to become a relational "couch potato". In order to reshape our physical bodies, and exercise correctly, we might need a personal trainer or fitness instructor to help and encourage us. The same is true for relationship reshaping. We can't do it alone. For marriages to thrive, grace must be the foundation of the relationship. Reshaping begins to happen when couples commit to get off the "couch", seek help, learn and apply the principles of God's grace. Here an example of just such a couple... "Before marriage mentoring, there was chaos. We would argue about little things we now know are silly, like my side of the closet being unorganized and full of clutter. Or, how my wife would leave her clothes piled up in a corner. There were days of storming out of the house in anger, declaring divorce was coming soon. Since being mentored, we have discovered a hidden secret called grace. One word, grace, a concept that has been around for centuries, but we never applied it to our marriage. So now, having a grace-filled marriage, my wife no longer gripes about my side of the closet. We have learned to negotiate. I pick up her clothes without complaining about it." Stay tuned, more grace truths and stories to come. There are so many signs and wonders that wander into our minds through our eyes. There is created beauty all around us. This photo is a sunrise over Mt. Rainer...wondrous creativity, new every morning. In northwest Washington, near the ocean, many of us have awe and wonder when we see snowflakes falling. Recently, forecasters were predicting snow and you should have seen all the posts on social media. When the snow did fall, photos flooded Facebook with beautiful snow scenes. Have you ever seen a married couple displaying the love of God in their relationship? Have their words for each other demonstrated to you a wondrous love? This is what Christian marriage is to be; a sign and wonder of God's love for humanity. How do we move together to be a sign and wonder for the world to see God's unconditional, wondrous love for man through our marriages? Marriage Mosaic wants to be in this conversation with you and give your practical steps to grow your marriage into becoming a sign and wonder. Join us today and in 2017 for an ongoing conversation filled with practical advice and encouragement for your marriage.
Monique's friend and mentor, T.A. Powell, pointed his friends to this truth the other day and after reading it; I'm still pondering the glorious gift God has given us in a growing healthy marriage that grew in the hard times by His grace. At times unknowingly, we were living out the truths T.A. mentions below and in his reference to 2 Corinthians. "The hard moments are not just for your growth in grace, but for your call to be a tool of that same grace in the life of of another sufferer.........God intends you to give away the comfort you have been given. The grace that has given you hope is meant to spill over into hope for the person next to you. What a plan!".......New Morning Mercies - Paul Tripp All praise goes to God, Father of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One. He is the Father of compassion, the God of all comfort. He consoles us as we endure the pain and hardship of life so that we may draw from His comfort and share it with others in their own struggles. For even as His suffering continues to flood over us, through the Anointed we experience the wealth of His comfort just the same. If we are afflicted with such trouble and pain, then know it is so that you might ultimately experience comfort and salvation. If we experience comfort, it is to encourage you so that you can hold up while you endure the same sufferings we all share. unshaken and unshakable. That’s because we know that as you share in our sufferings, so you will also share in our comfort. My brothers and sisters, we have to tell you that when we were in Asia the troubles we faced were nearly more than we could handle. The burdens we bore nearly crushed us. Our strength dwindled to nothing. For a while, we weren’t sure we would make it through the whole ordeal. We thought we would have to serve out our death sentences right then and there. As a result, we realized that we could no longer rely on ourselves and that we must trust solely in God, who possesses the power to raise the dead. Miraculously God Himself delivered us from the cold hands of death. We again place our hope in Him alone, and we know He will deliver us. Join us in this work. Lend us a hand through prayer so that many will give thanks for the gift that comes to us when God answers the prayers of so many. (2 Corinthians 1:3-11 in the Voice translation) Tools, that is what we have been called to at Marriage Mosaic and it is what you are called to be in the life of another person. If you are married, may we encourage you to ask God if He wants you to be tools for another marriage. In essence, it is all about friendship, coming alongside another couples as friends and allowing God (Holy Spirit) to use you and your experiences to provide wisdom through listening. You can learn more about becoming a marriage mentor here or by contacting us at Marriage Mosaic. What if God doesn’t want our excellence? What if He wants our humility so He can give us His excellence? “God’s excellence is always in His grace and only received through trust, which is the expression of humility.” “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 Throughout all our years, God plants different people in the gardens of our lives…some plant, some water, some turn soil, some offer tools to help cultivate growth…and some, simply stand by our side. Sometimes, the Master gardener walks with me (Mo) and helps me to see all the beauty, creativity and new growth. Other days, we just sit…side by side on a beautiful wooden bench, in silence. We don’t say much…but it is so comforting, just being together, knowing He is there. He loves me…and He has always been such a willing Master Gardener. He cares so much for me, personally, and the many other gardens whose gates are connected to mine…that He tends to it…daily. He and I discover new things together…things He’s always seen…but hasn’t yet revealed. As the root systems grow deeper in the soil, I learn to trust His love…and He surrounds me with plants more mature than I. Those whose love won’t run away when I wilt and fail…when I forget I am a child of the Holy Seed. They remind me Whom is the Gardener…and Who knew me before the creation of earth and sea…Who was and is…and is to come. The love of the Gardener runs so deep that even the gnarly weeds and underground roots don’t scare Him away. His loving hand sinks into the earth, pulling back the soil, exposing the most vulnerable parts of my soul. The plants I don’t want in my garden, but yet…I’m not sure how to make them go away. Some have prickers, some send underground roots, some breakthrough where beauty and new growth have begun. He knows my shovels and tools can’t quite dig them out. Like a child, He pulls me on His lap. He shows me His hand, gently pulling back the soil, exposing some areas of my garden to His light…His love. Childhood, memories, choices, revelations “I don’t like all of what I see Father, can you take it out of the garden? Now? Can you erase it?” With His holy arms around me, He whispers in my ear, “We don’t have to do that right now. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than yours. I am the God who sees…I see all of you and I love you. My love will heal those holes and weeds in the garden as you bring them into My light, trust me.” Monique Have you given much thought as to the signs and wonders of God's love in these times? To be honest, I hadn't until I was prompted to consider our marriage as a sign and wonder by Pete and Geri Scazzero at a recent marriage retreat. Could a healthy, vibrant and intimate marriage be a sign and wonder for the love of Jesus in these times? In reading this article posted by The University of Virginia Magazine, you will discover the answer to this question. The Bible speaks of many signs and wonders that testify to the presence of our living God in both the Old and New Testaments. Here are just a few examples. Old Testament: 1. The sun stood still at Joshua's command. Joshua 10:12-14 2. Water flowed from a rock when Moses struck it. Exodus 17:5, 7 (Psalms 78:15-16, 20) 3. The Red Sea parted so that God's people could cross. Exodus 14:22, Hebrews 11:29 4. An iron ax floated on water. 2 Kings 6:5-6 New Testament: Jesus Himself performed many mighty signs and wonders among the people. John 20:30; 21:25 1. He changed water into wine. John 2:1-11 2. He walked on water. Matthew 14:22-33 (Mark 6:42-52; John 6:16-21) 3. He took money from the mouth of a fish. Matthew 17:24-27 4. He fed the multitudes with a few loaves and fishes. Matthew 16:8-10 5. At His word the dead were raised to life. a. The widow's son. Luke 7:11-16 b. Jairus' daughter. Matthew 9:18-19, 23-26 (Mark 5:22-24, 35-43; Luke 8:41-42, 49-56) c. Lazarus. John 11:146; 12:9 5. The early church experienced many miracles as well. Acts 2:43;4:16; 5:12; 14:3, Romans 15:19 2 Corinthians 12:12 Miracles, signs and wonders serve as a confirmation of a person's ministry or message. Monique and I are convinced that Christian marriages are to be “signs and wonders” of Christ’s love demonstrated to a lost and hurting world. Have you ever thought of marriage, your marriage, as a “sign and wonder” of His love? The apostle Paul said this; “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—-but I’m talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32 Marriage, Christ and the church, a profound mystery, a mega revelation or unveiling of the God of love. Wow! In Christian marriage, we are making visible something that is invisible. There is no other love on the face of the earth that is permanent, God’s love. He gives us, in marriage, an opportunity to express the permanence of His love. He has given us the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to live an other-centered life in the context of marriage. We have the resources in Him. When you got married, you didn’t just get married in the church; you’re married for the church. How are Monique and I practicing the ways of loving well? In many ways, we liken it to the way we used help young people develop their basketball skills. It is a daily working out, a daily practice of listening, clarifying expectations, living in humility, putting the other first, speaking each other’s love language, etc. It is a deep and rich discipleship that brings great rewards. This is the place we teach from in our workshops, small groups and mentoring. Just like the craziness of NCAA March Madness, sometimes it is messy, but He leads us into a powerful reconciliation that demonstrates His grace and love. We will continue this conversation regarding the sign and wonder your marriage can become later this month. We would love to hear your thoughts and experiences. God spoke to me on a walk today as I was observing and listening...here is what I heard... On my walk today I saw numerous 12th Man Flags flying over and around homes in the neighborhood. The Flag, as we around the Puget Sound know, identifies folks with the Seattle Seahawks, as fans. I got to thinking, the 12th Man Flag is an outward visible sign for fans. Then I got to thinking about Jesus followers; we don't wear flags, jerseys, or colors that identify us. We have an identity that has been imparted to us by faith in the person of Jesus. The outward expression of Christ in us is how we express His love, from being with Him. In being with Him we have the opportunity to receive His love. He lavishes love on us and in receiving, we are able to give love away, which is expressed in many ways. However, if we aren't able to receive His love deep into the depths of our brokenness, become aware of our emotions and experience Jesus coming to us in the midst of them; we miss out. We miss the chance to immerse ourselves in His love, acceptance, forgiveness and grace. You see, love heals and protects us. The result in missing out is that we will most likely remain emotionally unhealthy and our spiritual growth will be stunted. Christ's Flag, if you will, in us cannot fly or if it does fly at all, there are tattered and torn holes in it and the beauty of its fullness is never displayed. Christ sees the tattered and torn "Flag" flying (us) and says again, I came to heal you, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 (ESV) You see the reality is...It is impossible to be spiritually mature, while remaining emotionally immature. This is a fact and it is an undeniable truth. Spiritual Maturity and Emotional Health are inseparable. We can be Jesus' fans, like the 12th man fans are for the Seahawks, but we won't experience the journey into wholeness and a fully flying flag if we don't join Jesus in all He has for us. The outward expression of His love is hindered too, cuz what often leaks out of us are toxic relational responses which aren't loving. Everyone desires to grow in their ability to receive and give love....love others well...love as the family of God. As the Superbowl approaches, let's raise our "Flags", the interior life of Christ in us, outward to love others well. As we the 12th man scream, Go Hawks!, on Superbowl Sunday, lets also scream quietly inside our hearts, Go God!, have your way with me in 2015. For more information on raising your Flag, click on the flag raising photo. I have come to realize that money and how you handle it in marriage is a big deal, and many times a deal breaker for couples. The divorce statistics seem to back me up; see this research done by Sonya Britt at Kansas State University. As we approach the Christmas season, I imagine that arguments couples are having around money are heating up. I really don't like to talk about money. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and engage my wife in conversations regarding our finances. She does an excellent job of tracking and managing our expenditures. I came across this excellent blogpost at #staymarriedblog.com and find the advice here very helpful. Here is a portion of the post titled; "Yours, Mine and Ours...Money and Your Marriage." Is it time to have a conversation for the sake of your relationship? 4 Questions to Ask Yourselves About Money and Your Marriage 1.Who’s money is it? The way you answer this question will have a huge impact in how you treat one another when it comes to your finances. Is the money in your family treated as “yours” vs. “mine,” or is it “ours”? What does that look like when it comes to your bank accounts and budgeting? 2. Where is the money going? If you don’t know where the money is going, it’s going to be very hard to have a constructive conversation about it. When was the last time you looked at your bank statement together to evaluate what you are truly spending your money on? 3. Where do you want your money to go? As the Cheshire Cat once told Alice, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” When it comes to our finances, we should be telling our money where to go instead of wondering where it went. Do you know what you want to spend your money on and where you want it to go? 4. Are your hearts aligned? If you really want to know what you value as a family, take a look at what you truly spend your money on. You could clear up whose money it is, where it is actually going, and where you would like it to go. But, until you determine together that you are on the same page with what is important to you about money, you are still going to be on shaky ground when it comes to the way your finances impact your marriage. Take some time to dream together and talk with one another about what is important to you. Do you value your marriage, your family, and your relationships with others more than you value money? If so, what does that look like practically in your life? How does your spending reflect your greatest values? To read this great blogpost in its entirety, click here. |
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