I have come to realize that money and how you handle it in marriage is a big deal, and many times a deal breaker for couples. The divorce statistics seem to back me up; see this research done by Sonya Britt at Kansas State University.
As we approach the Christmas season, I imagine that arguments couples are having around money are heating up. I really don't like to talk about money. I have to push myself out of my comfort zone and engage my wife in conversations regarding our finances. She does an excellent job of tracking and managing our expenditures.
I came across this excellent blogpost at #staymarriedblog.com and find the advice here very helpful. Here is a portion of the post titled; "Yours, Mine and Ours...Money and Your Marriage." Is it time to have a conversation for the sake of your relationship?
4 Questions to Ask Yourselves About Money and Your Marriage
1.Who’s money is it? The way you answer this question will have a huge impact in how you treat one another when it comes to your finances. Is the money in your family treated as “yours” vs. “mine,” or is it “ours”? What does that look like when it comes to your bank accounts and budgeting?
2. Where is the money going? If you don’t know where the money is going, it’s going to be very hard to have a constructive conversation about it. When was the last time you looked at your bank statement together to evaluate what you are truly spending your money on?
3. Where do you want your money to go? As the Cheshire Cat once told Alice, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” When it comes to our finances, we should be telling our money where to go instead of wondering where it went. Do you know what you want to spend your money on and where you want it to go?
4. Are your hearts aligned? If you really want to know what you value as a family, take a look at what you truly spend your money on. You could clear up whose money it is, where it is actually going, and where you would like it to go. But, until you determine together that you are on the same page with what is important to you about money, you are still going to be on shaky ground when it comes to the way your finances impact your marriage. Take some time to dream together and talk with one another about what is important to you. Do you value your marriage, your family, and your relationships with others more than you value money? If so, what does that look like practically in your life? How does your spending reflect your greatest values?
To read this great blogpost in its entirety, click here.
Vic and Monique
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